It’s yet another of those things that I’ve mocked relentlessly over the years. People carrying around water bottles so large that you would think their trip across the supermarket’s has small detours through Death Valley and the Sahara. It’s equal parts ridiculous and hilarious.
Then I found myself owning one.
It all started when the world ended. A couple of months after people started leaving their homes again despite the pandemic, without a vaccine and with everyone on edge, I decided it would be a great idea to plan all of my trips in advance. Yes, actually listening to the people that said to just make multiple stops on a single outing. At the same time, with everyone’s renewed interest in health, I took it upon myself to be more mindful about being hydrated. Not on the hydrohomie sense of attempting to ensure my body is 99% water, but just being more mindful of when I got thirsty.
Sidenote: As I was writing this I was reminded of what had to be the single most boneheaded app I’ve ever encountered. You were supposed to enter some personal details about yourself (of course) and it would work out just how often you should have a glass of water to achieve peak hydration. Nevermind the silliness of that premise. The fun part was that the way it did that was by playing a stock sound of a glass filling up whenever it was time for a drink. So at certain points of the day (baptism, business meeting, meeting the in-laws) the sound of running water would start emanating from your pants pockets.
I realized a couple of things. First and most crucial of this was that I got thirsty a lot more often than I thought I did. And that a lot of places remain rather unprepared for someone just asking for some water. So it wasn’t without full awareness of the irony that I found myself looking at water bottles. And since I wanted maximum thermal mass, I ended up looking at the very large water bottles.
The one I ended up has a lovely wood finish and is sized at a damn amusing 40oz (1.2 Liters or 5 glasses of water). Fill it up with water and the juice from a freshly squeezed lemon and you enough flavored liquid to wingman my self-control against sweet, syrupy, non-hydrating beverages. And insulation means that I can leave it on the car and still return to a refreshing drink. Although on particularly sunny days it makes grabbing it interesting. As for how I look carrying it? Well, I really don’t care; any more than the people who I saw carrying them did. Mostly I’m just happy that I have quick access to a nice, refreshing drink if I need to.
Crucially, you will note that I leave it in my car. I may be dehydrated, but the chances of me getting heat stroke crossing a parking lot are relatively slim.
