If there’s something you can bet on if you follow tech or auto news for long enough, is that someone is always patenting something that sounds silly. Occasionally it isn’t. Sometimes it is. Often times. It was and then it isn’t anymore.
This, I believe, falls into the middle camp.
Ford recently filed for a patent for a system where vehicles would repossess themselves automatically in case their owners have fallen behind on payments. I’m sure that a lot of thought has gone into this. Enough to ensure that Ford will get a nice juicy cut of the profits of anyone who decides to actually implement it. However, as far as I’m concerned, only one thought went through my mind when reading the coverage.
How long until it breaks?
The scene quickly formed in my head: it’s 10 years after the original purchase date of the vehicle. The owner, having been blessed with the ability to do rudimentary math, decided that they would pay it in three years and keep it for a couple more after that. When those are done, they sell it to the second owner. And the second owner keeps it as best they can. Of course, there’s the obvious trappings of second-hand ownership. The car stops being a fixture at the local Ford dealer and it may gain a little bit of body damage. At any rate, it’s aging a little better than most of its brethren, some of which are still living a pampered existence and others which will keep going down the path to their inevitable demise at breakneck speed.
Some more years pass. The new owner moves a couple of states away. Cars generally don’t get birthday celebrations and they certainly don’t mark their first decade on earth with any sort of pomp or circumstance. So its tenth anniversary is just another day for the truck, which is parked on the driveway without any consideration to its first decade.
That night, as the owner is sound asleep, a bit of code that had never been executed and has lurked silently somewhere in ROM wakes it up from its slumber and silently makes it reverse out of the driveway and embark on a journey back towards its original home state and the dealership which sold it so long ago. It’s an ill-fated voyage. Even with a full-tank of gas, the distance is simply too great to do it without refueling. It pulls over and shuts down safely somewhere very very far away from everyone interested in it.
Over the past week or so the scenario changed slightly. The Ford can just drive itself to the nearest authorized dealer, or have a moment of absolute digital panic as it realizes it’s boxed in. But whatever the case, the idea doesn’t seem to be one of those that ends tremendously well for anyone involved. Especially when you remember that the legality of your vehicle having the capacity to just up and drive away will inevitably have to contend with the most powerful force on earth.
Lawyers.
