Out of all people, it was a streamer that planted the seeds of this article, all of the data was already in my head but it just needed the right angle for everything to fall into place.
We’re slowly becoming boomers.
It’s a larger “We”, because thanks to the miracles of technology liking things is much less limited by age demographics and more by how stupid it can be and how much advertising cash is dumped over it. And so it was that, while trying to persuade a computer to do my bidding, my third monitor content uttered a sentence that started a new thread in my brain and gave my current project a delay.
“Fuunko pops are just Hummels for the new age.”
Maybe it didn’t sound that way but that’s how my brain interpreted it. And damn if it wasn’t true. You remember Hummel figurines from such places as your grandma’s mantlepiece…or her mother’s before that. Ridiculous looking ceramic figures that may have been cute at one point but became rather concerning after someone bought a couple dozen of them and stuck them in a specific case whose sole purpose was to showcase them to the world.
So what is this then? Exactly the same but with even more soulless eyes and even less effort on the sign. Mercifully they don’t break quite as easily so you can spare your 70-year old self the hear attack if the grandkids drop your precious golden Loki. Ah yes, the Funko Pops also have that corporate spit shine that ensures you tell the world that you are an enthusiast of $PROPERTY.
We even have the ripoff ones in “POP VINYLS”. Well, I say ripoffs, they’re mostly just for the fringes of society that Funko Inc. has overlooked on their seemingly endless quest to make an unrepresentative molded plastic version of everything. And we’re buying them by the millions. So, you know, perhaps the old boomers were right when they went “You’ll see”… If only they were as good as figuring out how tech worked.
Instead, they were sitting there figuring out crosswords, disposable puzzles that went away like so many dead tree when newspapers were actually paper and…oh sorry, I’d like to keep writing this article, but it seems like the new Wordle just dropped…and what’s what? LinkedIn has seen that the New York Times has finally figured out something that the younger generation would like and are trying to get in on it?
I swear it’s just a matter of time before we see a new boost in sales for early, affordable breakfasts among the under-30s.
