As the title no doubt suggests, I am firmly on the “Don’t get it” side of VW’s iconic Harlequin models. So when I saw VW UK making a brand announcement decked in Harlequin colors I just looked at the excitement of people who immediately recognized the familiar hues of the multi-colored Polo/Golf. And then I looked at the date.
One thing at a time though, the Harlequin. It’s very much on the list of things that the hardcore auto enthusiast likes and would like to see, but would probably never ever purchase if it came time to put their money where their excitement is. The G8 ute, the Chevy SSR, the Passat R36. All of them basically the wet dreams of the man who can recite gear ratios from memory (and in the case of the SSR, what socks go best with which sandals), and all of them having sales numbers that make accountants melt like they’re the wicked witch of the west. The Harlequin is in there. It was a marketing showcase that worked a little too well. Well enough to make it to production. And then that buzz fizzled out with all of 246 Golfs sold in the US and about 3,800 polos to show for it.
Personally, I’m surprised it sold that many. Maybe it’s the cars I see around every day or associative memory making the most basic, garbage-tier assumptions about things, but to me (and I hope quite a lot more people besides) it just looks like a Polo/Golf that came from the factory pre-crashed. Think of it like a 90s version of this post, except slightly less amusing and a lot more colorful. And it must be said that it did bring a lot of attention to the brand. Enough that every so often the concept gets paraded every so often in front of fans. The latest one was the April Fools luminescent harlequin ID.3. Yet another on a list of April Fool’s jokes that are not the worst one ever because “VoltsWagen” will be carrying that prestigious honor for VAG for a little while longer yet. But the most concerning part is not on the ad itself, but the lead up to it.
Used to be that there was a certain rhythm to these things. The world made as much sense as it can possibly muster on March 31, then on April 1 marketing departments everywhere would compete to see who could come up with the most amusing joke, before returning back to normality on April 2. But between the preview and things like Linus Tech Tips dropping their April Fool’s video a day earlier, it seems like the holiday is expanding. It’s enough to have a bunch of people desperately trying to be funny one day. Having it slowly expand across the “Don’t believe anything” zone would be terrible. Especially since we already live on a world essentially dominated by Poe’s law, where reality will eventually be more unhinged than anything that they’re able to come up with.
These are the sort of soapboxes one gets into when bored.
